Serendipity or Something Like It.
And The Moments That We All Too Often, Take For Granted.
I will be the first to admit that sometimes life starts to move a little too quickly and I loose sight of life’s little details. I get caught up in some silly thing or another and loose track of staying present. I am lucky enough to say that I truly love every aspect of my job, which seems slightly off putting to refer to as a “job” because there is nothing I would rather spend my time doing, not to mention the added bonus of creating and building this little leafy dream with Nick. This past week has been so crazy and sort of a blur but for the first time, in what feels like way too long, We let every drop of it sink it in. I even allowed myself the time to remember that I am living the coolest life I ever could imagine and as the memories of the last year and a half flooded my mind I remembered how lucky I am to be letting this dream continue to grow. You could say this week has made walking in to the last couple years of my 30’s (with a to-do list that by design, is most definitely not getting any shorter) so simple and feeling like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. So, although it was far from a normal week, it was one that just fet really good, and if life can be this good, how can I do anything but soak it all up?
Simply put, because at some point or another it’s something we all do, we all let life get the better of us briefly and we get that nagging feeling of being stuck”. I, personally have a very bad allergy to being stagnant in life, it can be my greatest super power and my biggest vulnerability. My brain moves quickly and I get ahead of myself from time to time, usually to the point that I am so overwhelmed that I loose sight of the beautiful things that are staring me in the face, every-single-day and there are so many of them it becomes almost shameful.
I will openly, and a little too proudly, admit that I am stubborn and can be argumentative and if the situation absolutely calls for it I can and will get a little mean. I think I over step at times in the name of honesty and sometimes I believe what I need to say, needs to be said, when it really probably doesn’t. But I can admit these things just as easily as I can admit that I am loving and protective, and have this feisty little thing in me that makes it actually impossible for me to keep my mouth shut if I feel like someone is overstepping in their beliefs of how they are allowed speak to another human being. I ask people to let me know that they’ve made it home safe and I will text you and ask you how you are doing on any given day simply because I’m thinking about you.
In my very humble opinion and maybe most importantly, I will be the first to admit I have never been called a well behaved woman.. and I am damn proud of it.
If being a less than well behaved woman means that I am willing to stand up for the things and the people I love, that I am willing to hold accountable those who have caused myself or my family harm, that I am willing to protect those who need protected to the very best of my ability, to be able to make someone laugh when they are in a dark moment or just acknowledge thanks for someone who has done far more for me than I could ever hope to do for them, how could I ever be anything less than proud? I will gladly be a small menace to society if it means doing what’s right. I will challenge things that need to be challenged and I will challenge the people I care about to be the best, most authentic versions of themselves and even if they don’t believe it, I will do my best to believe enough for the both of us.
I am far from perfect, there will be days I fall short, there will be days that are just a bit too heavy, and there will be days that I will get lost in my head, my hope is that if nothing else, this reminds someone that no matter the situation and no matter how unaware you may be of it at every given moment you, and I, are never really alone. There is always someone thinking about you, there will always be someone who needs you just a little bit more than they’re willing to admit and there is at least one person out there who’s day you’ve made better in every way and you will likely ever even know their name. Life is so much bigger than we are and all any of us can ever do is our best to try and make our world a better place for whoever comes after us. Does any of this mean I should be getting lost in the noise, or that I should criticize every single thing I wish I had done a little differently?
No, it simply means I’m human.
After so many days of bitter cold and gloomy skies everything starts to feel as gloomy on the inside as it looks on the outside. Much like the world waking up from the frozen tundra that has been the Midwest lately. I woke up this morning to see grass, and feel the promise of spring around the corner and with that there is a break in the cold. All of the gloom melts away and you feel the warmth of the sun on your skin again and although situations may not have changed, the same troubles that weighed you down yesterday are still there but somehow have become so much easier to carry, like rays of sun peaking through the last of the clouds, suddenly you can start to see that with or without the challenges there will be a way through, if its worth while it likely will be hard but it will also ultimately be worth it. So take a deep breath of the spring like air and remind yourself that for whatever it is that makes you, you, YOU ARE INCREDIBLE.
I have never wanted a “ordinary life” (I don’t really think I know what this even means anymore) I spent most of my life having absolutely no idea what that meant but I don’t think hydroponic farmer/small batch salad creator was on the bingo card. I have never followed the path more frequently followed. I have taken every side trail, detour, and side quest in almost every aspect of my life and the way my life ultimately unfolded, it was pretty much the only option. I can’t remember what my childhood self wanted to be when I grew up I just knew I wanted something a ways outside of the box.. imagine my surprise when it landed me inside a literal box. I like to believe that my childhood self would be pretty proud of what we’re trying to do.
I am very blessed with the people I have found along the way, the sheer number of people who share a similar view, or passion, or appreciation to focus their lives on the little details of life. People who didn’t take the paths frequently followed and whatever that passion is or was stuck with it because they knew the potential that it had, that they had to bring to the table and that it would be worth it and it would be important.
We need the growers, the chefs, the creators, the outside-the-box thinkers and the rule breakers. The Dreamers, we need the rebels, the people who wont follow a rule book if it doesn’t feel right, hell they wont follow a recipe if it doesn’t feel good. These are the people who have unknowingly showed up exactly when I have needed them and have shown an unmatched amount kindness to both Nick and I. If this journey into really bringing Leafy Dreams to life as taught me anything, its simply that if you pay attention something will show you when you’re on the right track and even on the worst of days there will be that stubborn little voice in the back of your head that will just you make you work harder and fight a little smarter to bring your dreams to life.
Next time life starts moving a little too quickly I hope I remember to take a deep breathe and remember how lucky I am to be here, and how lucky I am to be chasing my dream.
Stay wild and Stay Leafy
A
